Setting Goals

My goal for 2012 is to start writing a book. The idea is still forming but I believe there is something there. The problem is the time need to write. I spend over 10 hours of driving to and from work, hanging out with my family (which I will not give up) and sleeping.

The idea of setting goals is really difficult when it is difficult to be "SMART" about it. Somewhere deep in my mind is the notion of SMART goals. I know it is an acronym for Something, Measured, Something, Something, Timely. I have so much going on that SMART may not make sense.

I did set up with a friend of mine to keep me and her on track. She wants to write a book also. She has written out an outline or at least ideas and has sent it to me. I, on the other hand, have done nothing. Not even comment on her outline.

As I write this, I wonder, "Why not start now?" ....... Move to next thought.

I am hoping by starting with the blog again that it will encourage me. Who know? Make a decision Doug. Do it or Not. It is entirely up to you.

Long Time No Post

It has been a while since I posted last. Actually, it has been about 5 months, 8 or 9 days and a few hours.

A lot has happened in the past five months. Bullet Point

Della Louria was born

My life changed

I quit my job and got a new one

My life changed

One year anniversary of my marriage

My life changed

The recurring theme of the past 5 months is "Life Change."

I never really realized that my life changed every day. It has sometimes felt like it was the same thing over and over and nothing quite changed about. Everyday was different. Everyday I was a different person. Everyday I made decisions that changed my life. I knew that was happening but I don't think I quite realized it until I met my beautiful partner in life, got married, had a child and changed jobs.

So much has been happening that there are times that I wish I was writing it down. I would then think of this blog. I am not promising to write more but I will try my best to capture the feelings, ideas and life experiences I have been living through.

By the way, here is a picture of Della

Long Start to a New Day

I believed that I was going to wait until the little was here. The little one has not made an appearance yet.

We are waiting. My sweetie is in a lot of pain. There is not a lot I can do. I knew that I would have a sense of uselessness but this is a lot. I sit and watch my sweetie breath through pain that I never want to go through. I want to make her comfortable and take away the pain. I want her experience everything but not too much.

This is tough to watch. I will watch. I will be here for my sweetie and my little one.

More to come.

Still Waiting....

Any day now, our little one will be grace our existence. I am very excited. We have about 6 days before the actual due date.

As I have been learning about this whole experience, it has come to my attention a few myths that I thought were true.

1. Only about 15% of women experience their water breaking. WHAAATT!? I thought "water breaking" happened with every pregnancy. The movies and television were all wrong. If not wrong, they did not give the whole story. In my mind, when the water breaking it is time for the baby. Well, according to our doctor, water breaking is not necessary to start the process. It will either break on its own or be broken by the doctor.

2. Labor is a long long process, most of the time. I went to a baby class and saw a video giving the step of labor. Steps? What do you mean steps? There is don't push, don't push, and then push. Actually, the stages of labor vary between person to person. After that class, I am pretty clear on the delivery part (maybe expect of the head poking out). I am much more nervous about the labor part. I really don't want my Sweetie to be uncomfortable but I know it is for a good outcome.

3. Cravings. Late night trips to the grocery store, gas station, or other such late night place of business. Non-existent. I guess I should be grateful. However, I was looking forward to it, sort of.

4. Due dates are more of a guideline as opposed to a fact. I knew that but really didn't realize the span of timebefore and after the due date.

5. Lastly, I wasn't expecting to be this anxious about meeting this little person. I knew that I would be excited. I am ready. Mentally, I am ready for this to happen. Bring on the lack of sleep, diaper changes, crying, etc. Everyone keeps saying that, "Wait until the baby is here, you are going to be so tired you won't be so happy then." Well, you know what. I have no idea how other people were with their babies and I have no idea how I will be with our baby. However, I am planning on being ready. Please let me enjoy it and the experience of it. Physically, well, my back hurts, my knees tend to hurt, I am getting over a slight cold, and I tend to sleep pretty soundly. What can you do? Rub some dirt on it and get back in the game. After the baby is here, I will do what I need to do.

The next words I write will most likely include one or more of the following:

Boy
Girl
Happy
Excited
Healthy Sweetie
Healthy Baby
Tired
What is the black stuff? (Something I learned about baby's first poop.)
Of course, the little one will have a name.

Peace

Back in the Saddle and Ready for the Ride

It seems that I start every post with, "I haven't posted anything in a long time."

Actually, it is really silly since I only have about 5 post or so.

so, let's catch up really quickly. I got married and my wife and I are have a little one. There you go.

I am going to be home a little more once this little guy/girl (We don't know which) makes their presence known in the outside world. My plan is to document my transition from wannabee daddy to DADDY.

My initial thoughts:
Very Little Sleep - Bring it on!
Poopy Diapers - Everybody poops.
Crying, Crying, Crying - My cat moans in the middle of the night.

I can't say that I know exactly how things are going to be. Actually, I am glad I don't know exactly. I have bar-tended for about 9 years. I have worked at a camp for 12 years. I have directed a camp for 5 years. I know about bar-tending and camp. I also know that at a bar and at camp thing always change. Well, my excitement over having a new challenge in my life is huge. I am looking forward to every yawn, smell, and cry. Why? We have wanted this for a very long time. We are just about there. I am going to live it up. I love my wife very very much. She is doing something amazing right now. That amazing feat will enrich my life even more.

It will be an experience.

Peace.

Doin' Stuff

It has been awhile since I posted something. I keep wanting to keep up with the post but things like XBOX 360, ropes course trainings, etc, etc.

As I sit here next to my sweetie, Finnigan, and watching football, I realize that I have lots going on in my head.

I think I would like to write a children's book. The book would be about a turtle, my favorite animal, that tries to accomplish a goal when everything seems to be against him.

I am thinking about a change in jobs. Maybe something not in my field would be pretty good for awhile.

I really want to be a father. Things are not happen the way I would have hoped but I am not ready to give up.

I am planning on going to Atlanta for Thanksgiving although I am a little nervous about it.

There is a lot I have to get done around the house and I don't know if it will get done.

I possibly have a new boss that either he does not know about or I am not suppose to know about.

That's about it.

I am hoping for a great week, or at least a decent week. Some time off would be good.

Peace.

Reposting of Previous Post

I took down a post that talked about my excitement of being a father. Since we loss that child, I took down the post. My sweetie asked me to re-post it because it is about our journey.

Here it is.

Winds of Change by Doug
It has been awhile since I have updated my blog. I wanted to write that a lot has happened since I last wrote. In fact, very little has happen but that little is really big.
I found out that I am going to be a father. The feelings I had at the time were strange. I thought that I was suppose to jump up and down screaming, "Way to go boys! You did it!" I was so many things all at once it is hard to describe.
Being a father is something I always wanted and knew I would become some day. I never knew the date, time, year, century. Apparently, it start March 29, 2009. Who would have guessed that we would have a black president, camp would close its doors, and I would be a father. Two positives are pretty good.
Here is the deal: It scares me silly to think that I am going to be a father. My own father is nothing to really write about in this blog at this point. Let's just say that I appreciate his involvment in bringing me into this world. My one and only goal is to be the best possible father to this child. "Sprout" is in for a wild and crazy ride. I am sure that any man out there that has ever thought about be a father will want to be the best father. In reality, I want our child to look at me and say, "You done good Dad." Wow. "Dad." It is weird to write.
Big Daddy Doug.
Papa D.
The thought of someone looking at me like my Sweetie does makes my leg weak. There are a lot of changes coming down the road. There are things I need to change about myself, not because of the new addition to the family. I don't want to hang my decisions on that. It does influence my changes but it is not the reason. The reason is that it has be a long time coming.

Oh. The personal statement is just about finished and I want to send it off soon along with the rest of the application. I am leaning toward maybe a spring start. We will see. Thank you for reading and helping with the editing.

Peace and Love to my Sweetie and Sprout